


Lost

by Midlifecrisiskeith



Category: Original Work
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Mental Health Issues, Mental Hospitals, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 18:21:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16603160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midlifecrisiskeith/pseuds/Midlifecrisiskeith
Summary: This is a piece about a girl with bipolar disorder. I have done extensive research into it but if any of it does offend anyone please tell me.





	Lost

Messed up. So messed up. I can't find anything to save me. I'm stuck. They're looming over me. The shapes. Help! Please, help!

As she thrashed against the restraints, her eyes wide, seeing things that weren't there; the doctors milled around the room, far too used to this by now. The stark white walls contrasted dark fear in her eyes, the worn leather restraints pulling with every jerk of an arm. The paper sheets rustled against paper clothes, monitors shrilly beeping as her heartbeat raced. They knew when to stop it, when it became dangerous; but until then, they just let it carry on. The sick scent of iron filled the room as the restraints tore through flesh, staining red as they had done so many times before. Her sick cries and pleas fell upon deaf ears as she tried to free herself in vain. 

He stood at the back, by the door, not wanting to get to near to the traumatic sight. So young. Do full of life. Now reduced to a shell. Brought here 15, now 22 and only getting worse. He knew that soon a doctor would have to step in, they couldn't leave her like that. It was cruel. Slowly he pushed himself forward, trying to get the attention of a superior; then something changed.

Somethings different. I can feel it. The dark shapes are still there, but I can't fight them anymore. So I let them come, surround me, take over me. Kill me.

And she's gone. Limp like a rag doll and as manipulatable too. The fear leaves her eyes to be replaced with a dull numbness. The monitors slow, beeping steadily.

The clock chimes three signalling the time for medicine to be delivered to the patients. She knows it's coming, her eyes stay fixed to the door, waiting for it to open. And it does, a small nurse enters the room and moves to the side of her bed. She tracks the movements of the nurse rigidly. The nurse pulls out a syringe and the monitors go off like crazy. This happens everyday.

I can see him again. The evil glint in his eye more prominent than ever. He lifts his hand and grabs me, pinning me down. The pain in my leg is a clear indicator of what he's done. My body goes limp as the drugs course through my veins. A single tear rolls down my cheek.

They just leave her. Leave her empty eyed and broken on that hospital bed. The restraints haven't even been put back on. He makes his way forward and tries not to cry at the sight before him. Someone so beaten and broken, reduced to nothing more than a living corpse. He puts the restraints back on.

For once I am happy. The shapes are pushed back and my ears aren't ringing. All is good so far. Except that smell, that dreadful smell. It's moving it's way into my head. I need to get it out. Shaking my head I try to free my hands from the restraints, they come free, slippery with blood. My throat tears as I scream, clawing my head. Get it out! Get it out! I see my chance, my chance to get it out. I grab the scalpel so carelessly left beside my bed and bring it to my head. It's all going to go away now. Suddenly I am being restrained, a pain in my leg and I am going limp. I don't want this to happen again. Please no.

She stops struggling, limbs going still under the hands of the doctors. She looks younger, like when she first came here. Age 15 and almost dead. She was wheeled in on a stretcher body bent at odd angles. How someone so young could try and take their own life. They later found she had a chemical imbalance in her brain which had been triggered by the years of abuse her father put her through. He was dead now. She was almost. 15; and already wanting to die.

Days passed and he watches her she has woken up the day before, but for the life displayed she may as well have stayed asleep. Eyes glossy and hands cold, she lay there, mind dead to the world. She's stopped eating, sleeping and responding to any stimuli and he's worried. They all seem not to care, but he wants to help. He wants her to live.

I can't do this anymore, it's eating me inside. All I can see is him, what he did, the handprints left on my skin. I can't, I can't! Not anymore. I want it to end. Please let it end.

It is time to check on her. He sucks in a breath and pushes open the door. His breath catches, his feet stop. In front of him, an empty bed lays barren, sheets torn, leather restraints broken. He falls to his knees. She's gone.

The wind blows through her hair, the world so far away. Upon the roof of the building she has been trapped in for so many years, everything feels so small. She knows she has to do this quickly, otherwise they'll find her. She lifts her arms and smiles. She flies. 


End file.
